


A Guinness for Christmas

by Eleos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Dublin (City), F/M, Four Christmases (movie), Hermione's Holiday Hideaway 2019, Lots of Guinness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21828883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleos/pseuds/Eleos
Summary: Hermione and Percy have the perfect plan to escape their families' Christmas gatherings and keep their relationship a secret - no drama, no commitment. But when they're found out in a lie, the Weasleys and Grangers take a family holiday to Dublin, and there's nowhere Hermione and Percy can hide...from their families or themselves.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Percy Weasley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35
Collections: Hermione's Holiday Hideaway 2019





	A Guinness for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for Hermione's Holiday Hideaway 2019 (as part of the Hermione's Haven Facebook Group). It was lots of fun to write and ended up having a lot more Guinness than I expected. :P Happy holidays!
> 
> My prompts were:
> 
>   * Hermione/Percy
>   * Four Christmases (the movie)
>   * Dublin, Ireland
> 


“May I help you?”

Hermione glanced up from the book she was tucking into her bag. A handsome redhead with square black glasses and a pressed button-down shirt leaned against the bookshelf. He glanced at the book and then back at her, eyebrows raised.

She looked at the book in her hands. “Oh, um, no I was just reading the—”

“You were just shoving this first edition, gilded copy of _A Christmas Carol_ into your handbag to take home? As a souvenir?” He didn’t look angry so much as mischievous. His smirk made her stomach flutter.

“Well, I am a researcher, for the British Ministry,” she said. “And I know it’s near closing time, but I just need more time with this book.” She bit her lip. “I’m very conscientious.”

“Are you now? I doubt the management of Trinity College Library would agree.” He slowly walked toward her. “Perhaps I should tell them. Unless...” 

“Riley,” Hermione said, glancing at his name tag. (And decidedly not noticing the top two buttons of his shirt were undone.) “I’m sure we can work this out. I’ll put the book back. An honest mistake.” 

“Oh, I don’t think it was a mistake… What is your name?” 

“Jane.”

“Jane.” He was so close to her now. “I’m afraid I’ll have to report you to the authorities for breaking the library’s rules. And in such an historic place.” He gestured out to the Trinity College courtyard. It looked like a postcard, decked out with garlands and lights, the manicured lawn covered in a fresh sheet of snow.

“There must be something I can do.” Hermione bit her lip. “I’m very talented. Perhaps I could...work off my punishment.” 

Riley’s face was inches from hers, blue eyes twinkling. “I suppose as long as you’re suitably...chastened...for your misdemeanor, there’s no need to involve the authorities.” His eyes darted to her lips. “Turn around.”

Hermione turned without thinking. His voice was firm and low, and he walked behind her, running a hand over her shoulder.

“Put your hands on the shelf and bend over.” 

His fingers dipped below her skirt, skimming the edge of her panties as she bent forward. “Well, aren’t you a good girl—”

“Hermione Granger? And Percy Weasley?”

Hermione shot up, her hands instinctively covering her behind. Beside her, Percy groaned, straightening his tie.

“Oh my Godric!” A woman stood at the end of the aisle, mouth agape. “I never thought I’d see two war heroes in person.” She paused. “Wait, what were you two doing before?”

“Looking for books,” Percy said at the same time Hermoine blurted, “Stretching a crick in my back.”

“Are you two... together?” 

“Well…”

* * *

“I liked Riley,” Hermione said later, sitting on their plush hotel bed and brushing the tangles in her hair.

“You liked the 'good girl' bit?” Percy looked up from lint rolling his grey trousers. “I wasn’t sure.”

“No, I actually liked that.” She grinned. “I’d like to meet Riley again.”

“Well, we’ve got another week in Dublin. Maybe Riley could be a no-nonsense tour guide or a museum guard at Dublin Castle.” 

“Ooh, let’s go to Dublin Castle tomorrow. Did you know it was built in the thirteenth century—”

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Hermione frowned, picking up her little-used cell phone off the nightstand. “Hullo? Oh. Hi, Mum.” 

Percy cut his finger across his throat.

“Yes, I told you I’d be in Romania for work over Christmas. I’m really sorry about that, but you know, duty calls.” She laughed. “Oh. Oh. Right, you heard from Mrs. Weasley.” 

Hermione put her hand over the receiver. “Your mother called her,” she hissed. “There’s a photo of us at Trinity College in the _Daily Prophet_. They know we lied about having to work over Christmas. _And_ they know we're together. That woman who spotted us in the library blabbed....”

“Damn. I’ll run down to the front desk and see if I can get us a copy.”

A glow of green flames spurted from the hotel fireplace, stopping Percy in his tracks.

“PERCY WEASLEY. How could you lie to your own mother, and at Christmas?”

Percy gulped, running over to see Mrs. Weasley’s head in the flames. “Er, hi, mum. I didn’t even realize this fireplace was connected to the Floo Network.”

“Your father called in a favor at the Ministry.” His mother humphed. “That’s beside the point. How could you not tell me you and Hermione were dating? I thought you were in Thailand for work!”

“Well, uh, good news, actually. There was a last-minute change of plans, so I got sent to Ireland instead. Still official Ministry business, though, so I can’t come home—”

“I spoke with Kingsley,” Mrs. Weasley said. “And he said you’d taken the full week off for a vacation in Dublin. Seemed surprised I didn’t know. Your own mother.”

Hermione’s voice filtered in from the bedroom. “No, of course, I want to spend the holidays with you, Mum. It’s just that we’re already out of the country, and already have a hotel—”

“Is Hermione there with you too, Percy?”

“I wasn’t trying to hide our relationship,” said Percy. “We just didn’t want the public scrutiny.” 

“We’re not the public. We’re _family_. And you’re only a short Portkey away, so I don’t see why we can’t spend Christmas together. Bill came all the way from _France_.”

“Well, when you put it that way—”

“I mean, I _suppose_ you could visit, Mum, but Percy and I really—”

“Well, that’s settled then,” said Mrs. Weasley. “We’ll call up the Grangers, and we’ll all Portkey out to Dublin tomorrow to see for Christmas Eve. After all, Christmas isn’t really Christmas without family.”

* * *

“If your mother asks me one more time when she's getting grandchildren, I'm going to cast a bat bogey hex on her.”

Percy rubbed Hermione’s hand. After spending all morning at Dublin Castle, Grangers and Weasleys in tow, they were now winding their way through seven stories of brewing equipment and Irish history in the Guinness Storehouse (“Don’t you want to walk in the world’s largest pint glass?” Ron had said).

Mrs. Weasley had spent the whole day dropping not-so-subtle hints about babies and motherhood and “making an honest woman out of” Hermione. They’d finally managed to lose her in one of the tasting rooms, but Hermione was shaking.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell your mum we were together.” 

“She’s just trying to show she cares.”

“Can she show it some other way?”

A man cleared his throat behind them. “Mum being Mum again?” asked Bill, as he and Fleur approached.

“Talking about grandchildren,” said Percy.

Bill laughed. “You’d think she’d ask you about marriage first. Merlin forbid you have a child out of wedlock like Charlie.”

“So,” Fleur grinned. “Ven _are_ you going to get married?”

“We’re not,” said Hermione.

“Vhy not?”

“It’s just not necessary,” Percy said. “We’re perfectly happy as is.”

“It’s a matter of principle. Have you heard the language they use in wedding ceremonies?” Hermione asked. “No offense to you both—your wedding was beautiful, but ‘til death do us part’?”

“And weddings are so sexist,” Percy added. “Did you know that the bride traditionally stands on the left side of the groom so the groom can keep his sword hand free, to fight off any other suitors?”

“Sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“We have.”

Fleur looked bemused. “You know zat you don’t ‘ave to follow all zose traditions, right? You can make your own. Bill and I are very ‘appy, and you don’t see ‘im carrying me over zee threshold.”

“I just don’t see the point.”

“The point,” said Bill, “is that when you love someone, you want to show it. You commit.”

“Why commit when feelings can change?” said Percy. “Been there, done that.”

Hermione shot him a look, frowning.

“Love involves risk,” said Fleur.

“I disagree," said Percy. "If you’re good together, you don’t need marriage to force commitment. The whole institution is archaic.” 

Bill and Fleur raised their eyebrows.

“But,” Hermione added belatedly, "it’s great for you both, of course.”

* * *

“Did you know,” Mr. Granger said, sitting at the tasting room bar with his wife, daughter, and several Weasleys, “that they only started infusing Guinness with nitrogen in 1959? Before that they used CO2.”

“What’s the difference?” asked Percy.

“Well, nitrogen gives the beer a nice creamy head. The taste is sharper with CO2.”

“How do you know all this?” Ginny asked.

“He used to be a bartender,” said Mrs. Granger, grinning. “Back in university.”

“I never knew that, Dad.”

“Percy almost opened a bar,” said Ginny.

“What?” Hermione asked, head snapping to look at Percy.

“Yeah,” Ron said. “You must know. After the war, he went full Muggle for a while, got himself a desk job and a Muggle fiancée. Was gonna put the Wizarding world behind him. Audrey wanted to open a bar, have Percy do the finances.”

“You had a Muggle fiancée? And wanted to live as a Muggle?” 

“You didn’t tell her about Audrey?” asked Ginny.

Hermione’s eyes narrowed. “Apparently not. Who is Audrey, Percy?”

“She’s just— We dated for a bit,” Percy stammered. “It was years ago, and it didn’t work out. It’s not important.”

“I think the fact that you were engaged before and never told me is important,” Hermione said.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger shared a look. “Maybe we should head on to the next part of the tour. I think we’re done with this bit.”

“She left him at the altar,” Ginny whispered. “Said she felt like he was torn between two worlds and couldn’t commit.”

“Hermione, I can explain. I just didn’t want to complicate—”

“Stop,” she said, getting up from her bar stool. “Look, it’s fine that you were engaged before. I’m sorry it didn’t work out, even. But you didn’t tell me. You _lied_ to me. I just...I need to think.”

She shook her head. “I think I’ll go ahead to the next floor with my parents.”

* * *

“It seems like you barely know each other.”

“Mum, we’re fine. We just need to talk it over.”

“And this secret relationship business. It was quite a shock for your father and me to learn you had a boyfriend.” 

“I was going to tell you.”

“When? When you’d been dating two years instead of one?” 

Percy approached the Grangers, who were talking in hushed tones while pretending to look at historical Guinness advertisements. He’d been rehearsing an apology speech in his head, only to find the trio in a heated conversation. On a hunch, Percy ducked behind the statue of a portly mustachioed man running with a Guinness in each fist, curious.

“Well, what matters is that we know now, and we’re all together at Christmas.”

“I was going to tell you next time I saw you. I promise.”

Mrs. Granger sniffed. “I suppose. Though, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve hidden something important from us, for ‘our own good.’”

“Mum. How many times do I have to apologize for that?”

“Don’t take that tone with your mother,” Mr. Granger said. “She has a right to be angry.”

“Dad—”

“Don’t. You have to earn our trust again, Hermione. Trust has to be _earned_.”

Hermione groaned, following her parents around the corner to the next part of the tour. Percy frowned from his hiding spot. What the hell was _that_ about?

* * *

“What was that about?” Percy asked, turning to Ron. He and his brothers had headed up to the rooftop Guinness Gravity Bar while the rest of the Weasleys and Grangers checked out the gift shop. 

“What do you think, Perce?” Ron asked through a large sip of his stout. “It’s obviously about Australia.”

Percy frowned.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know about that.” Ron raised his eyebrows. “You mean to tell me you’ve been dating Hermione for over a _year_ , and she never told you she erased her parents’ memories?”

“She WHAT?”

George grinned. “Now, this is a story I’ve got to hear.”

Bill and Charlie groaned as George gestured to his missing ear.

“Explain,” Percy spat.

Ron shrugged. “Remember when Hermione, Harry, and I skipped our seventh year to go hunt Horcruxes? Well, Hermione was afraid for her parents’ safety. She reckoned the only real way to keep them safe was to send them out of the country, change their identities, make it near impossible for You-Know-Who to find them.”

“I’m guessing they wouldn’t be thrilled with that plan,” said George.

“Right. So, she obliviated them. Wiped all their memories of her, then gave them new identities as Monica and Wendell Wilkins, a couple who always wanted to move to Australia.”

Percy swallowed. “But they know who she is now. She restored their memories.”

“Yeah, after two years of trying,” Bill said. “I only know because the Ministry enlisted my help as a curse breaker. I’ve never seen memory enchantments so complex. We weren’t sure we’d be able to bring their real memories back at all.”

“And when they did get them back,” said Ron, “they learned their only daughter, who was already growing distant, had lied to them, closed their tooth-fixing practice, and shipped them off across the world without their consent.”

“Bloody hell.” Percy put his head in his hands. “That’s a lot to process.”

“How can you not have talked about this?” Ron frowned. “Look, I know I have no room to talk here. I was a right tosser when Hermione and I dated after the war. I took her for granted…but even I knew the important stuff.”

“I know plenty of important stuff about Hermione.”

“Like what?” Ron asked. “What do you know about her?”

“I know she loves old libraries and the smell of parchment, and she has a passion for Ancient Runes, for starters.”

Charlie put his hand on Percy’s shoulder. “Anyone with a _Witch Weekly_ subscription could tell you that. Maybe Ron has a point. How well do you know this woman you’ve been with for a year?”

“I guess we haven’t talked about our pasts much. We prefer to focus on the present.”

Ron shook his head. “One thing I’ve learned from being with Susan is that in order to really make a connection with someone, you need to open yourself up to them. I messed that up with Hermione, but we were never really a good fit to begin with. But you,” he said, gesturing his beer toward Percy. “You could be.”

“If you don’t fuck it up,” said George.

“Damn.”

* * *

  
“Hermione,” Percy said. “We need to talk.”

The two were walking down Grafton Street late at night, taking in the snow-covered shops and twinkling lights of the busy avenue. They’d managed to give their families the slip back at the hotel, claiming they were headed to bed after a day of sightseeing.

“Yes,” Hermione said. “I think we do.”

“About your parents.” He paused, considering. “Were you ever going to tell me about obliviating them?”

Hermione stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Eventually,” she said. “But, that’s not who I am anymore.”

“But it’s who you were, and that’s part of who you are now.” Percy sighed. “How could you not tell me something like that? I had to find out from _Ron_.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve told me everything about your past either,” said Hermione. “Mr. 'Let’s Live in the Present’ who almost got married to someone and never thought to mention it. I didn’t even know you’d seriously considered leaving the Wizarding world.”

“I should've told you. It’s...not a period of my life I like to reflect on,” Percy said. “When I look back at my past, I see all the mistakes I’ve made, all the times I’ve been an arse to my family...I see Fred.”

Hermione sighed. “That’s exactly why I never told you about my parents,” she said. “I don’t want to relive that part of my life. I want to move forward. With you.”

They walked in silence for a moment, listening as a street performer played a soulful bagpipe rendition of “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” 

Percy stopped, turning to face Hermione in the middle of the sidewalk. Snowflakes fell softly around them, catching in Hermione’s hair, glowing from the twinkling Christmas lights.

“I’m starting to think that love is a bit like Guinness."

“Er, I’m not following.”

“The final product is smooth and creamy, but you can’t get that without infusing the beer with nitrogen. Even though you wouldn’t want nitrogen on its own, you still need it. It makes the beer better.” He rubbed his chin. “Do you see what I mean?”

“Sort of. Are you saying our past is like...drinking nitrogen?”

“I’m saying that if you don’t acknowledge where you’ve come from, even if it’s hard to swallow... if you don’t use your past, you won’t have a foundation to build on. To create the beer you want to be in the future.”

“While the metaphor is a bit of a stretch, that’s actually pretty astute,” Hermione admitted. “An O for effort.”

Percy stuck out his hand. “Let’s start fresh,” he said. “Hi, I’m Percy. I am a bit obsessive and live with the near-constant guilt of betraying my family. Five years ago, I was jilted at the altar, and I’ve found it hard to commit to anyone since.”

Hermione smiled, clasping his gloved hand in hers. “I’m Hermione. I’m controlling and anxious, and I get so focused on doing the right thing that I don’t stop to think about whether I’m hurting those I love in the process.”

“Nice to meet you, Hermione.”

“And you, Percy. I look forward to getting to know you better.”

“Would you fancy a pint?” Percy asked, gesturing to a nearby pub. “Not to be too forward when we’ve just met, but it’s almost midnight, and we could ring in Christmas day together.” He winked. “I hear they have Guinness here.”

Hermione smiled. “That sounds lovely.”


End file.
